Try hard, p.20
Try Hard, page 20
The place was lit up with neon club lighting and there were even more guests than I’d anticipated, but the benefit of that was the low likelihood of anyone seeing that I was holding Eve’s hand. If they didn’t know, they couldn’t comment on it.
Being led by Eve felt an awful lot like the time I’d followed her down the corridor at school—made all the worse by the number of our former classmates who were at this thing. I felt almost dizzy from the nostalgia and Eve’s hand in mine.
There was no point denying that I was still attracted to her, in every way it was possible to be attracted to someone, but she deserved someone who could give her everything she wanted and I wasn’t sure that was me. You didn’t get to date Eve Archer if you weren’t… whole.
I sucked in a breath, my lungs feeling uncomfortably tight. This wasn’t the place to have a breakdown over all the things I was and wasn’t.
“Alright?” Eve called in greeting over the music as she cut easily through a crowd that parted to reveal Kim and Kieran. It was the most British I’d heard her sound since we were kids. Of course, there were still words she used and ways she communicated that were British, but her decade in the US had left an impression on her accent. Not fully American, not entirely British. Something uniquely hers.
“Archer!” Kieran called, and the laugh Eve let out suggested that felt very different coming from him than it did when I called her that.
“Good to know you remember who I am, you dick,” she said jovially, pulling him into a one-armed hug. Her other arm stayed resolutely between us, our hands locked.
Kieran let out a noise of complaint. “What did I do?”
“Ignored my text all week.”
“Oh. Right.” He pulled back and shot her an apologetic smile. “Well, I have had a lot going on.”
“Yeah. Suppose I’ll forgive you.”
Kieran glanced at me and how close I was standing to Eve. I didn’t miss the way his jaw and eyebrows twitched in amusement. “Seems like everything’s working out for you, Archer, so I don’t know why you’re complaining. But I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about that right now.”
Eve laughed and, without letting go of me, adjusted her arm so the back of her hand rested on the small of my back. I tried not to react to the way the move had her brushing over my butt.
“Fia,” Kieran said by way of a greeting. “Good to see you again.”
Kim grinned widely. “We are so glad you agreed to come to the wedding! It wouldn’t have been the same without you.”
“And you know Archer here would have been devastated.”
“I’m sure she’d have survived,” I said darkly, watching Kieran with narrowed eyes. He’d changed quite a bit since school but he looked happy.
“Hardly,” Eve said, amused, and she leaned even closer into me.
My heart thudded demandingly in my chest. There was no way Kieran and Kim weren’t going to think we were together. I wasn’t really sure how to feel about that. They’d both known me back in school. They’d known I was never good enough to be around someone like Eve. Surely they still thought that deep down?
“Archer!” Adnan threw his arms around Kieran’s and Kim’s shoulders, leaning into the group. “And Ophelia Pendrick. The whole school really is here.”
“Adnan,” Eve said, pulling me infinitesimally closer to her, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was a little worried about the smile he gave me. “You seem to be doing better.”
I had no idea what she was referring to, but it was fascinating that she’d stayed in touch with this group. I’d stopped talking to everyone from school, whereas she seemed incapable of losing her friends. I couldn’t blame them all for wanting to stay in touch with her. After finally getting her number and her time, I was unbelievably reluctant to give them up.
“Yeah, I’m over it and back on the scene,” Adnan said, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that made it clear he’d gone through a recent breakup but was well and truly back out there.
Maybe it wasn’t that surprising Eve was keeping me tightly by her side—especially not when Adnan very unsubtly looked me up and down. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
Eve moved readily with me when I twisted slightly and hid part of my body behind her. I was certain she felt the tension coursing through me.
“Sorry about the way it all went down,” she told Adnan sincerely.
“It’s fine. I’m over it.” He laughed and nodded towards Kieran. “At least I got the finished wedding cane from him before the breakup.”
My eyes flicked to Kieran’s cane. It took a second of him twisting it to see that it had been painted with his and Kim’s initials and what I could only assume were important memories of their relationship. Our old school crest sat near the handle.
Eve grinned. “He did a great job.”
“You’re supposed to take my side, Archer,” Adnan shot back.
“You’ve always been a shit painter.”
Before he could reply, the song changed and Kim screamed. “Babe, we have to dance!” She shot me and Eve a look. “We picked loads of songs from when we were at school and stuff.”
I nodded as people raced for the dance floor, ‘Mr. Brightside’ blasting from the speakers.
Eve shot me a look. “Dance with me?”
I shook my head, looking down to hide my smile. “Sure thing, Archer.”
“Save me one for later,” Adnan called after us, but I didn’t look back.
Despite the chaos of everyone around us, Eve’s hands found my hips and she pulled me against her, moving us to the beat.
“I think you’ve got an admirer,” she said into my ear.
I fought the way the memory of his eyes roaming my body made me want to cringe. “He’s barking up the wrong tree.”
Eve pulled her head back to look at me. “I thought you were bi?”
“I am.”
“I see.” She wrapped her arms around my back like she was hugging me, still moving us to the music. However, she didn’t move fast enough for me not to see the smile on her face, and that was lethal.
Sure, she hadn’t exactly been subtle that she liked being around me, but being glad I wasn’t into someone who was hitting on me felt different. It felt like a declaration of sorts.
My arms readily found her neck, and, as we danced, I knew we must have looked like a couple to anyone watching. I wasn’t nearly as bothered by that as I should have been—and not just because I hoped it would keep Adnan away.
“You know,” I said when ‘Mr. Brightside’ started bleeding into the next song, “I’m sure Sammy isn’t going to be too happy about you dancing so close to me.”
Eve laughed. “There is no way she’s still on that. We’ve talked about this, Ophelia.”
The way she said my name, especially in the midst of the packed dance floor, sent shivers down my spine that I hadn’t felt for a long time.
In the time since I’d figured out I had… vaginismus, I’d been on a mission to reclaim myself and my body. One of those ways had been learning to orgasm without pain. Luckily, I’d had a decent therapist to walk me through the ridiculously complex emotions of that one—regaining sexual pleasure when sex was the thing that had left painful, burning mental scars that absolutely manifested physically was no easy feat. Made all the worse by my initial reticence to trust a healthcare professional. However, in all that time, I hadn’t taken back having sex with another person. I hadn’t wanted to. It hadn’t felt safe. I still didn’t know if I could give Eve that. The whole thing was a tangle of uncomfortable feelings, but the fact that she could get a reaction out of me—one that was undeniably sexual—was already an incredible achievement.
“I still think,” I said, feeling a little unsteady, “that she’s—”
“Fia,” Tanika called at almost the exact same moment I heard Sammy calling Eve’s name.
I stepped back from Eve, seeing the two of them approaching us with Kim and Kieran. Eve kept her hand on my hip until Tanika swept between us and wrapped her arm around mine.
“You’re wearing Converse,” she said with a laugh, looking at my shoes.
“I am,” I replied, eyes narrowing but not missing the daggers Sammy was shooting my way as she muscled in between Kieran and Eve.
“Practical as ever,” Tanika laughed, before tugging me away from Eve. “Come to the bar with me.”
Eve’s hand fell from me as Tanika gave no space for a denial and pulled me away at an awkward enough angle I couldn’t resist her. I did, however, catch Eve’s eye to ask her a mouthed, “Orange juice?”
She smiled, nodded, and winked at me before her attention was claimed by Sammy, who immediately placed her hand on Eve’s shoulder, fingering one of her braces—or suspenders, as Eve had called them on the way over. Another Americanism she’d picked up. My insides bubbled unpleasantly but it wasn’t like I couldn’t understand Sammy’s interest in them—or in Eve. The outfit she’d chosen and the way she’d done her hair had her looking like a more attractive version of Brendan Fraser in the late nineties. She was a sapphic dream—as always.
When we made it to the bar, Tanika laughed and shot me a knowing look. “Well, that didn’t take you long.”
“What didn’t?” I asked sceptically.
“Getting it on with Eve.”
“I’ve done nothing of the sort.” Was that true? Technically, absolutely. But there was something there. I could no longer deny that.
“Oh, sure. I dance with all my friends like that. And I saw the two of you come in. You were holding hands.”
“So we didn’t lose each other in the crowd, Tanika.” I tried hard to keep my usual cool, level tone, even if thinking about Eve holding my hand felt anything but casual.
She studied me and I noticed the shimmery body glitter she was wearing. Kim had been covered in the same thing.
“So,” she said eventually, “you’re sticking with the story that nothing has happened between you?”
“Not a story because nothing has happened.”
“Ooh. So that means it’s probably going to tonight, right?”
“No.” I refused to think about the fact that I was staying at Eve’s place tonight, and that she’d been clear there was only one guest bed. Sure, she’d offered to sleep on the couch but I wasn’t making her do that in her own home.
We could absolutely share a bed. Just like school friends having a sleepover. I doubted we’d top and tail, mind.
“Yeah, right,” Tanika laughed. “I don’t know why you’re not shouting it from the rooftops right now. You’ve been in love with her since school. Plus, she’s Eve fucking Archer. I’d be telling the whole world.”
“Plenty of people routinely tell the world they’re in love with her. It doesn’t really mean anything.”
“She’s not wrapping herself around them like a tree.”
“Comparing me to a tree is not complimentary.”
“Entirely missing the point.”
I turned to look at where Eve was dancing with a group of people from school, laughing with them. Sammy was trying very hard to capture her attention and dance with just her. “I think Eve’s got someone else vying for her attention.”
Tanika glanced over her shoulder, following my gaze. “Oh, my god. Look, Sammy’s great and all, but she’s so not Eve’s type.”
“I didn’t realise you and Eve were so close.”
She shot me a sarcastic look. “Not once has Eve ever been interested in people who want her for her fame.”
“What a cutting take on your fellow bridesmaid.” I couldn’t help thinking she was right, though. From everything I’d ever heard about Eve, she’d always stayed away from people who were after the stardom, preferring to keep her relationships low key and out of the public eye as much as possible.
Maybe being with her, even if she couldn’t promise me complete privacy, wouldn’t be as exposing as I’d feared.
Tanika flicked my comment away. “Just calling it how it is, and Sammy—well, I’m sure she does think Eve’s hot, but she’s also definitely interested in the celebrity. And, either way, it doesn’t matter. Eve wants you. No chance she’s giving that up to be with Sammy.”
I hummed, certain the noise would get lost in the pounding music.
Eve had always been the best, most interesting person in any room. None of that was to do with her being famous. Sure, her abilities were attractive, but that was more to do with how hard she worked, how good she was. It wasn’t as though I’d only started liking that about her when she’d hit the big time. I’d always just liked her.
Sammy, meanwhile, didn’t even know her. They’d met each other twice now. Sure, she could be attracted to her, but it wasn’t like she really understood who Eve was. Almost everything she thought she knew would be from some parasocial connection.
The reality was that Sammy was interested in Eve the professional athlete, the celebrity. Not the person who smiled every time she caught one of Hercules’ stray hairs on her when she was out of the house.
As if she’d sensed my attention on her, Eve sought me out, her expression softening adorably when she met my eyes. I couldn’t help smiling back at her, and it felt like the rest of the room melted into the background.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Eve
When Tanika rejoined the group, Ophelia wasn’t with her. I scanned the club immediately.
“Where’s Fia?” I asked, leaning across the small circle our group had formed to speak to Tanika.
She grinned knowingly. “She’s at the bar.”
I looked again, eyes narrowed. There was no reason for the anxiety building in my chest. Ophelia was an adult who absolutely knew how to handle herself. But I knew she wasn’t keen on this many people trying to talk to her, expecting socialisation from her.
Plus, Adnan had conveniently disappeared, and that felt sketchy. Sure, he was a good guy, but I hadn’t missed the way Ophelia hated him checking her out. The way she’d stiffened and hidden half of her body in my side had screamed her discomfort, but he hadn’t picked up on it.
“Don’t worry about her,” Sammy said, her hand finding my back again. “You don’t need to watch after her constantly.”
I stepped away from her touch. Maybe Ophelia had been right. Sammy was more persistent than I’d given her credit for. And, when she dismissed Ophelia’s needs, she was starting to stretch even my endless patience.
It wasn’t that I thought Ophelia couldn’t handle herself. I knew she could. It was that even the strongest people in the world deserved love, protection, and care from those close to them. And God knew she hadn’t received nearly enough of that over the years.
Maybe I was on a one-woman mission to finally provide Ophelia with all the devotion I’d been carrying for her since we were teenagers—and all the care she should have been receiving in the interim. I was fine with that. And I wasn’t letting Sammy interfere.
An awkward conversation was probably in my future.
“I’ll be back,” I told Kieran as I patted his shoulder, careful not to disturb his balance as he danced.
There was no way Ophelia had moved far from where I’d last seen her—that stunning moment when the whole world seemed to stand still and all that mattered in the universe was her. It reminded me of one of our GCSE English classes. It had been my turn to give a speech to the class—only the second person to go by virtue of having a last name beginning with A—and, while public speaking didn’t bother me, there was always something a little uncomfortable about standing in front of your class and talking at them for several long minutes. Ophelia had watched intently through the entire thing, nodding occasionally, her face betraying when she found something new or interesting, and, in the end, I’d only really been talking to her. The other twenty-five kids and our teacher faded into the background, and I’d have willingly kept talking to her for hours.
As I approached the bar, my eyes scanned frantically for her deep red hair. There really was no reason for the frantic pounding in my chest and head, but I knew it wouldn’t settle until I found her. And, when I finally landed on those familiar waves, the relief was only momentary.
Ophelia was ramrod straight, one hand curled tightly around the smooth edge of the bar, barely looking at Adnan.
“Give the lady room to breathe,” I said, coming up beside him and clapping him on the back.
He was the picture of ease, clearly having an entirely different read on the situation and Ophelia than she and I did. He stood up from where he’d been leaning and laughed. “Not to worry, Archer. We’re just chatting.”
I pasted on a grin as my eyes ran over Ophelia, noting the way the fingers of her free hand reached subconsciously towards me from their position at her side. She wasn’t required to ask out loud for me to understand what she needed.
“Yeah, I’m sure you two have loads to catch up on,” I said, smiling at Adnan as I angled myself between them—not enough to seem weird or possessive, but enough to give Ophelia the sense of distance and blockade she clearly wanted.
“I don’t know that we ever even spoke at school,” she said stiffly, though she often sounded like that, so I doubted most people would notice anything off.
Adnan laughed heartily. “Oh, I’m sure we shared a few words at some point.”
I wasn’t convinced that was true. Sure, they knew of each other, our school was small enough for that, but Adnan hadn’t been in any of Ophelia’s classes as far as I was aware, and I couldn’t think of any reason the two of them would have been chatting recreationally.
However, any recollections that might have occurred slipped straight out of my head when I felt Ophelia’s fingers against the back of my thigh.
She was simply seeking comfort, gripping the fabric like a lifeline in the ocean. But I couldn’t help the way my heart soared from her touch. I was the one she felt safe around, the one she sought comfort from. I’d spent decades wanting to be that for her.
Plus, even if I was a rugby player and touching people’s thighs was par for the course, it still felt different when it was Ophelia touching them.
