I was relieved we’d been interrupted. I almost believed he was going to say he made a mistake in breaking up with me. But I knew that wasn’t the case. I couldn’t let myself feel things for Noah ever again.

  I shook my head. ‘No, Noah. I just wanted you to acknowledge that we had been something once, and that you hurt me. Thank you for apologising. That’s all we need to say. Let’s just move on and focus on work, okay? It wasn’t meant to be.’

  ‘If that’s what you think,’ Noah said quietly, his phone still ringing.

  ‘Take the call; I’ll see you back at the office.’

  I spun around and walked away. My eyes started to burn but I really didn’t want to cry. I could stay angry at Noah or stay sad that we didn’t work out or I could continue what I’d done for the past five years and focus on me and my dreams and building the life I wanted.

  And I was determined to do just that.

  14

  Over the next couple of days, I didn’t see much of Noah. I threw myself into work. I sent out hundreds of press releases about Bitten and contacted every social media influencer that reviewed books to see if they wanted a reading copy. I also asked Deborah to film a few videos for social media for the lead up to the release. And Emily designed some new graphics for the book.

  So, it was full steam ahead trying to build a bigger buzz for Bitten than the team had so far, but I didn’t want to admit to myself how many times Noah’s words by the river echoed through my mind.

  Especially alone in bed at night.

  Do you know how hard it is for me to keep things professional with you?

  That sentence haunted me. I was confused why he’d said it when he was the one who had decided we were over. I didn’t know how I’d feel seeing him again so it was a relief that he rarely came into the office and when he did, he just walked straight through into his space and closed the door.

  But then an email came through from him telling everyone who was working on Deborah Day’s book to come in for a team meeting in the boardroom. I immediately felt nervous about facing him. I had no idea how he would act around me. I’d put an end to us discussing our past and whatever else Noah had wanted to say. Was he relieved I’d walked away? Disappointed? Angry?

  So, that Thursday morning, I walked into the boardroom apprehensively.

  ‘Okay, thanks for coming in, everyone,’ Noah said when we sat down. It was a chilly day and he had on a brown jumper that matched his glasses over his work trousers. The look was the most casual I’d seen him in save for our weekend meeting in the park. His gaze went straight to me and his brown eyes looked even deeper than usual, and when he smiled at me, I got the full dimple treatment. Not angry then. He looked pleased to see me. I willed my body not to react but the more he reminded me of the Noah I had loved, the harder that was proving to be.

  In the boardroom were me and Noah, Emily and Gita, along with Paul, who headed up sales, and Aaliyah.

  ‘I have been talking to the team in New York the past couple of days and have found us more budget to work on the campaign for Deborah Day’s book. We met with the author and she is on board with our new publicity plan, albeit sceptical about whether we can deliver better sales for her. I think this book has really big potential for us and we only have three weeks to get it on the bestseller list.’

  A few looks were exchanged around the table.

  Paul coughed. ‘Do you really think that’s possible based on her previous sales? And the short time we have to increase advertising and promotion? Not to mention the fact retailers will have made buying decisions a long time ago. It won’t be in enough shops to be that visible.’

  ‘I think Ms Day has slipped under the radar here. She was once this company’s biggest author but after relying for too long on her backlist and fan base, you have lost the potential for new readers and bigger sales,’ Noah said. ‘There is no reason Bitten shouldn’t be a must-buy for romance readers. I want us to try. As I said before to you all, New York are watching. We have six months to make some increases in profits. My father is talking about bringing some of the team here and I want to make sure that’s to add to our numbers, not replace.’ There were nervous looks around the table. Noah put his hands up. ‘That’s not a threat. I just want you all to be clear on the situation here. And what we need to do. If Bitten unexpectedly sells more copies than you planned then that helps us get where we need to be, right?’

  ‘There are so many better titles we could be pushing though,’ Paul said, shaking his head.

  ‘Because this is a romance?’ I cut in. ‘You don’t think it’s worth getting behind?’ I looked over at him, annoyed again at his dismissive tone when it came to talking about this book.

  ‘I’m just giving my opinion,’ he said, leaning back in his chair.

  ‘It does seem like a tall order,’ Emily said, shooting me an apologetic look. ‘No matter the book, three weeks is a very short time to promote it.’

  ‘Well then, we will all have to work extra hard on it, won’t we?’ Noah raised an eyebrow. ‘I’ll email you what I need you to do. Stevie, stay behind please. I have an idea I want to run past you. That’s all.’

  I saw Paul roll his eyes at Emily as they got up. Gita smiled at me but she looked worried as she followed them out. I sighed as the room emptied and the door closed behind them.

  ‘I think they hate me for wanting to push this book,’ I said.

  ‘Do you really care what they think?’

  ‘I care a bit,’ I said. ‘I want to get on with my colleagues. We’re supposed to be a team. But now they resent me for changing their plans.’

  ‘So, you just have to prove to them you were right.’ Noah looked across the table at me, a challenge in his eyes.

  ‘Be more shark?’ I asked, trying not to laugh.

  ‘I can be a bit too tough as a boss. I suppose when I started in New York, I didn’t want people to think I was there as a favour from my father, that I was going to take it easy and rest on my laurels, you know? I wanted to show them I meant business.’ He shrugged. ‘I get why they call me that. I wanted to prove myself, and I did. And it got people’s backs up. But I got results, Stevie, and my father demanded a lot from me. I had to prove that he’d made the right choice in hiring me. And I have to do that here too.’

  ‘That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself.’

  ‘And you’re not putting pressure on yourself? You’re not thinking this is your first campaign and the author wants it to be a bestseller so you’re worried about what happens if it doesn’t sell enough?’

  I sighed. How did he know what I was thinking?

  ‘If it doesn’t, they’re all going to say they told me so.’

  ‘We’ve always learnt a lot from each other,’ Noah said, his tone softening as I admitted my fear. ‘Maybe I could be more empathetic sometimes but maybe you could care less what people think.’

  There it was again. A reminder of our past. Noah was killing me.

  ‘But you care a lot about what your father thinks?’ I asked, wanting to know more about their seemingly complicated relationship.

  ‘He expects the best,’ Noah said simply.

  ‘He made you CEO here though. He must have done that because you are the best.’

  ‘I like the way you see the good in people, Stevie. Maybe he did it so he could watch me fail.’

  ‘Bloody hell, Noah.’ I was shocked that he thought his father capable of that, but another question was burning inside of me. ‘If your father is really that hard on you, why did you go to work for him in New York in the first place? Why join the family business?’ I knew it was close to asking him why he left me but I was confused. His father didn’t sound like the kind of guy you’d want to work for, so why was Noah still trying to prove himself to him?

  Noah looked down at his watch. ‘As much as I love discussing my father,’ he said, his New York lilt heavy as his sentence dripped with sarcasm, ‘we need to head off now or we’ll be late.’

  ‘For what?’

  ‘My publicity idea for Bitten. Come on, I think you’ll love this.’ He jumped up and I had no choice but to gather my things and follow him out, no closer to understanding why he’d run off to New York five years ago. But maybe it was better not to know. It wouldn’t change the outcome, would it?

  I went to my desk and grabbed my coat and bag. Eyes watched curiously as Noah pulled his coat on and we walked out together. I knew everyone still pitied me for having to work so closely with him, even though they seemed to be warming to him gradually: I’d noticed fewer people rolling their eyes after leaving his office.

  I wondered what the hell they would think if they knew he was my ex-boyfriend.

  15

  ‘So, where are we going?’ I asked Noah in the lift on the way down.

  ‘A bookshop that I think would work really well for the idea I had, but I need your opinion.’ He looked across at me. The lift was a small space and he was only a foot away.

  I smiled and saw his eyes flick to my lips. ‘I doubt there’s a bookshop in the world I wouldn’t like.’

  Noah chuckled. ‘Me neither. You would have loved the bookshops in New York. I remember going to one and thinking, Stevie would think she’s died and gone to heaven if she was here,’ he said, his expression turning wistful.

  My pulse sped up as he looked down at me. Had he stepped closer as well?

  I breathed in the fresh shower smell he always had. My heart hurt to think about Noah going to bookshops over there and thinking about me.

  Noah stepped closer again. I sucked in a breath and quickly turned to face the lift doors. He was too close. This space was too small. Lines were blurring again and I didn’t want that.

  Thankfully, the doors opened then and I darted out.

  I tried to wave off his words. ‘Probably for the best. I would have never fit all the books I wanted into a suitcase. So, are we getting the Tube?’

  I couldn’t look at him so I had no idea what he was thinking but he seemed to accept my change of subject.

  ‘It’s not far if you’re happy to walk?’

  ‘Sure,’ I said, preferring wide-open space and fresh air right now.

  We set off around the city together. Now that Noah had mentioned it, I couldn’t help but imagine what it might have been like if I had gone to New York with him. And not just for a holiday. I imagined strolls like this around the city, coffees in hand, yellow taxis passing us, Sundays spent having lazy brunches and browsing in bookshops and… I shook off the fantasy. Even if he had thought about me, Noah hadn’t wanted me to come with him. And that was that.

  ‘It’s just around the corner,’ Noah said, breaking into my thoughts.

  I looked around as we stepped off the main road. I recognised this quiet area, the cobbled alleyway lined with old-fashioned-looking shops with painted signs and gold lettering. Hanging baskets made the alley pop with colour. It was quieter here as if this was a secret part of London that not many people knew about. I realised I’d been here once before.

  No, no, no!

  ‘Noah…’ I said, alarmed as he walked towards a shop right in the middle of the alleyway. I stopped as I looked up at the all-too familiar bookshop. ‘But this is…’ I whispered as I saw the sign.

  Book Nook.

  ‘Isn’t it the best?’ Noah said, looking at the bookshop and not seeing the horror on my face. ‘I loved it when I used to live here. In fact, I’m not sure if you remember but—’ He turned to me then.

  ‘Let’s go in,’ I said, cutting him off. I did not want him asking me if I remembered this bookshop. Of course I bloody remembered it!

  ‘Okay.’ Noah opened the door and let me walk in first, following close behind. With a deep breath, I stepped over the threshold and looked around.

  It was exactly the same as it had been on that rainy night six years ago. The bookshop was still filled to the brim with titles, shelves placed in a haphazard fashion, and the smell of books mixed with the sweet pumpkin candle that burned on the till desk. But instead of the older man that had been there that night and given Noah a discount for our books, there was a woman with long black hair.

  Noah greeted her warmly with a wave but he stayed by my side, watching me as I took the shop in. I spun around, the memory of us meeting in here flooding back as if I’d opened the page of one of the books to find chapter one of our story written in it.

  ‘It’s still my favourite bookshop,’ Noah said softly. ‘Stevie, you must visit it a lot?’

  I stepped over to a shelf and ran a finger across the spines, a habit I’d picked up in the library when I needed comfort. Books never let you down, after all.

  ‘I never came back here,’ I told him. It had been too hard. I’d walked past a few times but hadn’t been able to go inside and then I’d avoided this area completely. This was where we had met. Why would I want to relive that?

  Noah seemed oblivious to the fact this was a painful memory. He walked over to the woman behind the till.

  ‘This is Georgina. The previous owner’s daughter,’ Noah said, introducing us. ‘This is Stevie. We, uh, work together.’

  ‘Lovely to meet you, Stevie,’ she said, smiling at me. ‘Do you guys want to come back and see the event room?’

  ‘Definitely. Stevie?’

  All I could do was nod, still stunned I was back in this bookshop. And Noah was with me.

  Georgina led Noah through a small opening in the bookshelves and I followed, ducking a little bit to get under the archway. We were then in the back room. There were more bookshelves but these were against the wall and in the middle were chairs lined up and some cosy bean bags and a platform at one end that could work as a kind of stage.

  ‘I was thinking we could hold a launch party for the book here?’

  It was a cosy and intimate space, and it had a feel of being out of a different time, which would work brilliantly for a vampire romance.

  ‘It’s perfect,’ I said. ‘We could have an exclusive invitation list. We could send invites out on real stationery, use lots of candles and maybe heavy drapes over there too, make it feel like the library of the vampire’s home. And wine in goblets, and oh my God, we could do it on Halloween night, the week the book comes out. It’s perfect and…’ I stopped, noticing Georgina and Noah both staring at me. I bit my lip. ‘Sorry, did I get carried away?’

  Noah’s dimpled appeared. ‘I love watching you get carried away.’

  My heart stuttered inside my chest.

  ‘I love all those ideas. Can we have it here, Georgina? I don’t think Stevie will survive if you say no.’

  ‘Well, of course,’ she said.

  They beamed at one another.

  I tried to not to feel a pinch of jealousy. ‘Can I take some photos? Show the author and help to plan the night?’

  ‘Go ahead. Noah, let’s book it in…’ Georgina led Noah back into the bookshop and I took some photos, knowing this place would work brilliantly for the book and people would be so excited about it after attending a party here.

  ‘My dad was so excited when I told him you were here,’ Georgina was saying to Noah when I re-joined them. They stood close together by the desk. I watched them, irrationally hoping that there wasn’t anything going on between them. ‘You were always his favourite customer,’ she continued. ‘And when you stepped in and bought the place…’

  I did a double take and even though I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, I blurted out my thoughts anyway.

  ‘Wait, what?’

  Noah slowly turned around as Georgina gave him an apologetic look, as if she had just let something slip she shouldn’t have.

  ‘I bought the bookshop,’ Noah said after clearing his throat. ‘I’m, uh, the owner.’

  ‘How?’ I wasn’t sure I was breathing properly.

  ‘Just before I went to New York, Georgina’s father told me the shop was struggling and we exchanged email addresses. We shared ideas and talked about books we liked. And then he told me a couple of years later he needed to sell so he could retire and so I offered to buy it. And keep Georgina on as manager.’

  I didn’t know what to say.

  ‘We’ve worked hard to bring sales up,’ Georgina said. ‘Noah’s been a lifesaver and now we’re in the same city, we won’t have to Zoom all the time.’ She laughed and again, I felt a weird pinch in my stomach. ‘I can’t wait for this event. It sounds fun. Do you want my email, Stevie, and we can plan it together? I’m sure Noah is busy enough with his new job.’

  ‘Uh, sure,’ I said, still shocked by the news that Noah owned this place.

  We swapped details and I said I’d be in touch after clearing the party with Deborah.

  ‘So, I really need a coffee and it’s lunch time so shall we stop off somewhere before we go back to the office?’ Noah was saying as we stepped outside. I couldn’t answer. I felt like I was still in a trance. My mind was racing. We walked towards the end of the alley. ‘Stevie, yes to lunch?’

  ‘Wait.’ I stopped by the wall and leaned against it. ‘I need a minute.’

  Noah stopped too and stood in front of me. ‘What’s wrong? Are you okay?’

  ‘No,’ I admitted. I looked at him. ‘This is crazy.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I feel like my head hasn’t stopped spinning since I walked into your office and saw… you.’ I took a breath. ‘You bought our bookshop?’

  It was a question because I still wasn’t sure it was real. I wasn’t sure what was real any more. For a minute, I wondered if I had imagined our year together, but now I’d been back to the place where we met, I knew it had happened and it’d been real.

  ‘Yes.’ Noah moved closer. ‘I had to buy it. It was going to disappear otherwise. And then it would have really been like…’ He trailed off but I knew what he’d been about to say.

 

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