Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever?If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice:As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets.It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position...

Join Hyacinth on a magical quest to save London in a uniquely hilarious and inventive fantasy adventure, the second in a trilogy.Hyacinth has just saved London, and possibly the world, from a magical conspiracy stretching back centuries. Not bad for a week of summer holiday. But why is her family linked to the ancient secrets of London? Hyacinth needs to find out, and when she discovers that Ancient Roman stones are being stolen from all around the city, it's time for another adventure with the help of friends new and old, including Oaroboarus, a giant pig in a swimsuit. A fast-paced caper with a magical cast of characters including the dastardly Minnie Tickle whose skin is inscribed with powerful tattoos, a host of opinionated living stone sculptures, Hyacinth's new neighbour Dasra (who may or may not be trustworthy) and the Corkers: a police force made entirely out of cork.

An exciting subterranean London adventure, the first in a middle-grade trilogy. Hyacinth Hayward has recently arrived from America and is having difficulty adjusting to her new surroundings, especially being in the sole company of her eccentric mother. Everything feels strange. Very strange. And it gets stranger the day she accidentally unleashes the power of a secret river running through London. To prevent a second Great Fire, Hyacinth needs to retrieve a single, magically charged drop of water from somewhere in the city sewer system. Along the way she encounters an eclectic cast of characters – the shambling, monstrous Saltpetre Men who kidnap her mother, the Toshers who battle for control of magical artefacts and a giant pig with whom she has a tea party. The clock is ticking – will she figure out who to trust?

For fans of the Mapmakers trilogy and anyone who likes a little history along with their fantasy, here's a quirky new series! Magic is real. History is a big, fat lie. Before Hyacinth Hayward moves from Illinois to London, she reads up on the city's history. Too bad for her. Because the books are wrong. The truth is, London was built on magical rivers, and all the major events in its past have been about people trying to control the magic. Hyacinth discovers this when her mom is kidnapped. In the chase to get her back, Hyacinth encounters a giant intelligent pig in a bathing suit, a boy with amnesia, an adorable tosher (whatever that is), a sarcastic old lady, and a very sketchy unicorn. Somehow Hyacinth has to figure out who to trust, so she can save her mom and, oh yeah, not cause a second Great Fire of London.