The plot twist, p.16
The Plot Twist, page 16
I choked a little bit on my cupcake. Attractive.
I took a sip of coffee. ‘Why?’
‘Who wouldn’t want to be married to a woman like you?’
I studied him as he ate his cupcake. ‘I’d take that more seriously from a man who hadn’t dumped me.’
It was Noah’s turn to choke then. ‘I forgot how you speak your mind. It was always the thing I admired, and was scared of the most. I thought we’d already agreed I was a dick?’
I nodded. ‘We did.’ I bit into the cupcake. Sweet sugary goodness. ‘Mmm.’
‘The truth is,’ Noah said, wrapping his hands around his coffee cup, ‘you scared me when we met. Because I thought maybe I had found the woman I wanted to marry. And I knew I had this big secret stopping me from giving you all of me. I should have told you about my family. From the start.’
‘Why didn’t you? Your father wouldn’t have liked me?’
I doubted Mr Matthews would like any woman Noah brought home, to be honest. But it did hurt to think that Noah hadn’t thought I was good enough to introduce to his parents.
‘I thought it would put you off me. That you’d think I was like him.’ Noah sighed. ‘I also knew how much you wanted to work in publishing and I was embarrassed that my dad was one of the leaders of the industry. I suppose I’ve been trying to prove myself since I left university.’
‘I know how hard you work,’ I said. ‘I wish you’d been honest with me.’
Noah sighed. ‘It was all my fault things didn’t work out between us. I’ve been kicking myself ever since.’
I half-smiled. I tried to lighten our tone. ‘So, what did you think when you realised I wasn’t married?’
‘I was incredibly relieved,’ he replied.
‘I saw an article about you being an eligible bachelor so I knew you weren’t either,’ I admitted. ‘There wasn’t anyone that made you consider it?’ My heart sped up as I waited for his answer.
‘I won’t lie and say I’ve been a monk since I left,’ Noah said. He reached across the table and brushed my hand so lightly it was like the breeze had touched me but still, I felt it everywhere. ‘But there was never anything serious, no.’ He took his hand off mine. ‘Anyway, I’m jealous as hell about the man who brought you up here; it’s pretty romantic.’
‘It was,’ I conceded. ‘I dated him for a few months but… I don’t know. It got to a point when it was either serious or not and I realised I wasn’t one hundred per cent in. Like he was. Since then, it’s been bad date after bad date and so I decided to give it a rest. Although seeing Liv loved up with Aiden has given me some hope it can work out.’
I looked out at the view and felt that wistful pinch I often felt when I thought about happy ever afters. I wished one day I would have one, I couldn’t deny it.
There was a short silence. I could feel Noah watching me. Maybe he wasn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t like he could promise to be my happy ever after, was it? Even if there were these feelings, this pull, attraction, whatever you wanted to say, between us. He had still hurt me and there was a big mountain to climb for either of us to forget that.
‘My mum, when she was really sick, told me that my father was her soulmate.’ I looked at him and he nodded. ‘Hard to believe, isn’t it? But that’s why I haven’t rocked the boat. He really loved her. He’s broken without her even if he won’t admit it to anyone, even himself. I know Mum would be upset with how he’s been treating people though.’
‘Especially you,’ I pointed out. ‘Making you feel guilty about your mother wasn’t fair of him, Noah.’
‘Maybe not but he’s right. I tried so hard to make it on my own, I pushed them away. I wasn’t there when my mum needed me.’
‘Yes, you were!’ My forceful words startled him. ‘You left to be with her as soon as you knew. You did all you could. And he’s wrong to make you think otherwise.’
‘Thank you, Stevie. I don’t deserve that praise but I appreciate it.’
‘Can I ask one thing?’ I said tentatively. He gestured for me to go ahead. ‘If things are that difficult between you and your father, why do you keep working for him? Why come over here to run the new business?’
‘My mum made me promise before she died that I’d look after him. That I’d keep our family together. I had to say yes.’
I looked away, worried I might cry. ‘Of course you did,’ I whispered. I finally looked back at him. He was watching me carefully. ‘She’d be proud of you.’
I reached out to brush back my hair, which was still blowing in the breeze.
Noah caught my hand in his when I moved. My breath hitched but the wind took it away so he didn’t hear. ‘I wish you could have met. I told her all about you and she told me I was a fool to walk away. She was never wrong.’
I stared at him. ‘Noah, you’re making me feel like…’
He pulled my hand, tugging me closer to him, stopping my sentence in its tracks. He leaned close to me and my heart picked up speed.
‘I have to tell you these things, Stevie. I can’t stop. I wasn’t planning to. That first day, I told myself to act like your manager and that’s it, that’s all I’d ever be now. But as soon as you told me off, I knew I was in trouble.’
He reached out and tucked my hair off my face for me. He then brushed his fingertip over my lips.
I trembled. ‘I was in trouble when you told me you’d bought our bookshop.’
‘I pretended to myself I was just supporting a small business but I couldn’t let it go. Not when it brought us together. I hoped one day, you’d walk right back in there and I’d see you again.’ He smiled. ‘I didn’t know we’d meet again at work.’
‘Talk about a plot twist – you becoming my boss.’
I kept the inches between us, knowing that if one of us leaned even a centimetre closer, we’d kiss.
‘Do you hate it?’ Noah asked then.
‘It’s growing on me,’ I admitted.
He leaned even closer but turned and spoke his next words into my ear. ‘If I remember correctly, you quite enjoyed me bossing you around sometimes.’
I let out a puff of air and squeezed my thighs together under the table, my mind instantly flashing to nights with Noah, him telling me exactly what to do in his bedroom, and me melting under his touch…
‘Any more coffees?’
We sprang apart as a member of staff appeared to take away our empty cups. I flushed deep red as Noah chuckled under his breath before telling the waiter that we were fine.
‘We should go.’ I jumped up from the table, knowing a minute longer and I’d be in his arms again. In fact, my whole body ached with wanting to press itself against him. But I knew this time, we wouldn’t stop at kissing and that was a giant leap to take. One I wasn’t ready for even if my body was screaming at me to do it. My body was not the boss of me though. ‘One more stop on the tour.’
‘Lead the way,’ Noah replied, standing up, still smiling, that dimple looking like it was never going away now.
28
We arrived at my favourite Sunday lunch spot just as the rain started. The beautiful autumn morning changed in a minute, it seemed, as the sky grew black and we hurried into the pub, eager to get out of the drizzle. I loved this place. I’d first come here when I moved to Islington one day when I was desperate for a roast dinner. I’d never eaten anywhere but Maccy D’s on my own, but I brought a book and ordered wine and a roast and I decided that if I was going to be single, there was no point in not doing the things I wanted to even if it meant having to do them alone.
I waved to the landlord and dived into my favourite booth close to the window, which offered a view of the city in the rain. They had lit the open fire so the pub felt perfectly cosy.
‘I missed places like this in New York,’ Noah said as he sat down. I draped my coat on the back of the chair and sat down, Noah doing the same across the table from me.
‘Stevie!’ Mel, one of the wait staff, came over with two menus. ‘You just made it before the rain.’ It was pouring down outside now.
‘We were lucky. This is Noah,’ I said as Mel handed him a menu.
‘You want one?’ Mel asked me, but I shook my head and she smiled. I always had the same thing. ‘A bottle instead of a glass?’
‘Go for it,’ I said.
‘I’ll have whatever Stevie has,’ Noah said, handing the menu back.
‘Got it.’ Mel dropped me a wink before walking away and I shook my head. I knew she’d grill me about this the next time I came in.
‘You come here a lot?’ Noah asked.
‘I come here most Sundays in autumn and winter,’ I said, looking around. ‘It’s so close to my flat and the roast dinners are amazing.’
‘It’s been a long time since I had a roast dinner,’ Noah said.
‘You couldn’t find one in New York?’ I asked.
‘I hated to eat by myself; I always ordered deliveries. So, I can’t wait to try the food here.’
I propped my hand under my chin. ‘I know what you mean about not wanting to eat alone; I had to force myself to do it but now, I quite like it. I always bring my Kindle. And have a glass of wine.’
Noah smiled. ‘Sounds enjoyable that way.’ He glanced around the pub. ‘I can see why you like it in here. It feels like a home from home. Thank you for showing me your favourite places today. I feel like I know the now you much better.’
‘As opposed to the me from five years ago?’ I asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘You are different,’ Noah said.
‘In a good or a bad way?’
Mel returned with a bottle of red wine and poured us a glass each and said the roasts would be ready soon.
When we were alone again, Noah took a sip before answering. ‘You’re fearless now.’
I shook my head. ‘No one is fearless. We’re all scared of something. Of more than something. But I suppose I decided to do what I wanted to, what I had to, anyway. It all took time though. I’ve only just got my dream job.’
‘Be honest – was it ruined when you realised I was there?’ Noah pushed his shirt sleeves up to his elbows.
‘I did wonder what I’d done for the universe to punish me,’ I joked. Then I saw his anxious expression. I sighed and answered honestly. ‘Noah, you broke my heart but I’m okay. I will be okay whatever happens. It’s taken time to feel that way but here I am. If you are serious about…’ I took a moment to get my words out because it was hard. I didn’t want to get hurt again. Even if I knew I could get through it. Who would? But I also knew that some things were worth the risk. I wasn’t sure yet if Noah was, and I think he knew that. ‘…missing me, I would need to be sure that this time, it would be different.’
‘It would be forever?’ Noah asked.
‘Forever is a long time.’ But I nodded. ‘Something like that, I guess.’
I wanted to tell him I’d need a sign, but that sounded too cheesy for real life. I sometimes recited dialogue from romance books without realising it. I had probably read that idea somewhere.
Noah was thoughtful as he looked out at the rain, swirling the wine in his glass. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but who ever wanted to tell someone their actual thoughts?
Our beef roast dinners with all the trimmings arrived then and we tucked in, hungry from our walking around the city and the chill in the air. Noah declared it the best he’d ever eaten apart from his mother’s and I said it was far better than my mother’s, and we laughed so much, other diners glanced over curiously. I saw Mel and the landlord, John, look over at us several times and I knew they were wondering who Noah was. I’d never told them about him. Noah had been in the past when I walked in here. But somehow, he was sitting across from me here in the present. Whether he’d be here in the future though, I really wasn’t sure.
After our roasts, we shared the sticky toffee pudding and had two coffees. We talked about Bitten, and New York, and my library job and meeting Liv, and of course we talked about books. I told Noah what I was currently reading and he said he was reading an enemies-to-lovers romance that I had on my list to read next.
‘So, you’re reading that and I saw you have a lot of love stories on your bookshelf in your flat. Did I turn you into an avid romance fan then?’ I teased him.
He held his hands up. ‘I admit it, you were always so enthusiastic that I read a couple of the ones you love and then I was hooked. My father was completely wrong. Books that make people happy are the best kind.’
‘I agree.’ We smiled at one another and I got the warm feeling you get when you connect with someone else. ‘I’m so nervous for Monday,’ I admitted then.
‘Don’t be. I have a feeling it’s going to be awesome.’
‘Did you just say awesome? Are you American now?’
Noah laughed. ‘It rubs off on you, you can’t help it.’
‘You do have a slight New York twang to your accent. It’s cute.’
‘Cute? Can’t it be sexy?’
I shook my head. ‘Nope, sorry, that’s reserved for only a few accents. I don’t make the rules.’
‘Actually, I think you always have.’
The day drew on and the afternoon soon turned dark outside the pub where it felt like time stood still. Finally, we looked at one another, knowing we couldn’t delay leaving any longer. Noah walked me back to my flat, holding a large umbrella over us to block out the rain. It wasn’t far from the pub and all too soon, we were back outside my building.
‘Honestly, thank you for today. I guess I’ve been kind of isolated for a while now. You’ve reminded me…’ Noah trailed off, looking down at me.
‘I know what you mean,’ I said when he looked confused as to how to finish his sentence. ‘I’m glad we did this.’ I reached up on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. ‘See you at work, boss.’
I dropped him a wink then dashed out from under his umbrella and inside my building.
I glanced back before the door closed and Noah gave me a wave before turning and walking away through the rain.
Sighing, I leaned against the door for a second. I had wanted to kiss him goodbye properly. So badly. As I went up to my flat and let myself in, I told myself it was for the best that I hadn’t. I pulled my phone out of my bag and opened up Google.
Is it ever a good idea to get back with your ex?
I scrolled through article after article, most of which were on the side that it was not a good idea; they were your ex for a reason.
Sighing, I went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea, deciding I’d get into my pjs and curl up with a book and relax ahead of the working week, which was going to be a huge one for Turn the Pages. And me. And Noah. This week wasn’t the week to be lusting after him or stressing about his feelings for me.
29
When my alarm went off at 6 a.m., my phone started to light up with notifications. I grabbed my phone as I headed for the bathroom and smiled at the motivational messages from my mum and dad, from Liv, Aiden and Georgina. They all wished they could join in but they had to work. I wished they could be there as my body was humming with nervous energy. It felt like my new career in publishing hung in the balance.
I got ready in record time and left my flat to walk to work, hoping the fresh air would calm me down a little bit. There had been some excited buzz on social media after we announced what was happening this morning but I knew that might not translate into a successful event. It could go down like a damp squib and my mind flashed with potential consequences. Mr Matthews would definitely fire me and sweep in with a team from New York. Noah would be disappointed. Poor Deborah Day would leave Turn the Pages and hold me personally responsible for messing up her career. I’d never see Emily or Gita again. And finally, no one in publishing would hire me and I’d have to go back to the library with my tail between my legs and beg for my old job back.
But I was staying positive, obviously.
Thank God the weather was at least dry so that wouldn’t put people off. When our office came into sight, butterflies swirled in my stomach. I went up to our floor and was grateful to see Emily and Gita, as well as a few others who had come in extra early. Noah was also there handing out t-shirts for everyone to put on. Our eyes met across the floor and he smiled.
‘There she is.’
‘Oh, thank God.’ Emily and Gita rushed over when Noah nodded at me. They were both wearing their t-shirts and gripped the placards they’d made in the library.
‘Is something wrong?’ I asked them nervously.
‘No, we just need to go to the loos and make sure we look good,’ Emily said, taking my hand and pulling me along with them. I glanced over my shoulder at Noah who was grinning, so I assumed nothing bad was afoot. I was stumped as to what was causing the panic though as Emily and Gita practically dragged me into the toilets.
‘Noah has done something,’ Gita said, moving to the mirror and pulling out her lipstick. ‘He won’t tell us what. He was actually teasing us about it.’ Her eyes met mine in the reflection. ‘I don’t know what you’ve done to that man.’
I hid my blush by fluffing up my hair. ‘I have no idea what you mean.’
Emily snorted. ‘Every time we said your name, his eyes lit up and he was very excited about a surprise he has planned.’
‘I have no idea what that is,’ I said truthfully.
‘Someone asked him if he’d had a good weekend and I swear he blushed,’ Emily said, scrutinising my face. ‘And your cheeks look flushed. Did something happen between the two of you?’
‘No!’ I cried, but I knew instantly that sounded like I had something to hide. ‘I suppose we did hang out yesterday. For a bit,’ I said, trying to sound casual.
‘Stevie, you can’t hold out on us like that!’ Gita scolded. ‘So, has he got down on his knees and begged forgiveness for dumping you?’
‘Ouch,’ I said. ‘Thanks for not sugar-coating that.’
